


Ephemeral

by Natsumiya_Teirin



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Angst and Feels, Coma, F/M, Fear of Flying, Flying, Gen, Near Death Experiences, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 11,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27224926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natsumiya_Teirin/pseuds/Natsumiya_Teirin
Summary: Fate has certain plans set in place, but plans are rarely absolute.Yukito is late.Sakura never captures The Illusion.She steps forward-AndSheFlies.
Relationships: Clow Cards/Kinomoto Sakura, Daidouji Tomoyo & Kinomoto Sakura, Keroberos | Cerberus & Kinomoto Sakura & Yue, Kinomoto Fujitaka/Kinomoto Nadeshiko, Kinomoto Nadeshiko & Kinomoto Sakura, Kinomoto Sakura & Kinomoto Touya, Kinomoto Sakura & Tsukishiro Yukito, Kinomoto Sakura/Li Syaoran, Kinomoto Touya/Tsukishiro Yukito
Comments: 35
Kudos: 47





	1. Like Flying...

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, it's a miracle this kind of thing didn't actually happen in the series.  
> Even though realistically, it should've- and would've if Yukito had been either late or not present at all.

"SAKURA-CHAAAANNN!"

"Mom....don't go...don't leave me again..." 

Sakura steps forward, chasing- always chasing- the ephemeral form of her mother. 

Tomoyo shouts in horror, desperately begging with her tone for her friend to come to her senses. Kero-chan weakly lifts his head, but doesn't have the strength to attempt passing through the magic barrier again. 

Sakura steps forward, her eyes glassy and her mind desperate, and the ground vanishes. 

Sakura steps forward, and everything else fades away, just like the Clow Cards that fateful day.

Sakura steps forward.

And she falls.

"SAKURAAAAA!!!!"

Tomoyo screams. 

Yukito hears the frantic scream first. Then he sees her- sees Sakura falling, eyes closed, like an angel-

Like a flightless angel plummeting to the grounds of Heaven.

The bag falls from his hand, the week's groceries spilling onto the moonlit pavement. 

He sprints, going as fast as his depleted energy stores will allow and then some. 

_No! No no no no no no! Sakura-chan..!_

He begs for time to stop, a voice that is not his own _commanding- stop her fall or-_

Time freezes.

Kinomoto Sakura is a tiny wingless angel.

And she falls.

And ~~Y U E M O O N G U A R D I A N~~ Yukito isn't fast enough to catch her.

And Sakura shatters.

* * *

The hospital is too quiet. Too white. Too sharp. Too cold. Too clinical. 

_"Touya get to the hospital_ now- _Sakura-chan's been badly hurt!"_

He still hears the tremor in Yuki's voice, even though Yuki himself is dozing at his side in the plastic chairs of the waiting room.

_"I should have stopped her! We should have never let-"_

Daidouji-san cut herself off then, when she was here an hour ago. Touya tried to ask who "we" meant, but Tomoyo just squeezed Sakura's plush toy- her favorite she carried it everywhere she should be carrying it now- to her chest, so tightly Touya almost felt sorry for the thing, and shook her head, insisting she couldn't tell. 

Then she'd ran tearfully out of the waiting room, presumably to catch her ride home. 

And damn if _that_ didn't make Touya worry. 

Among other things.

 _I'm her_ brother _I should've been more careful, I should've watched out for her better, how did I miss her sneaking out?_

_I should've told her I loved her._

The door slides open, and their dad walks in. He's not smiling. There are bags under his eyes from sleepless nights of research, and his copper hair hangs limply in front of his face. 

"Touya-kun...I came as soon as I could..." he huffs out, sitting on Touya's other side.

"Sakura-chan...is she...?"

Touya frowns and shrugs the shoulder not currently being used as a pillow. 

"I don't know. No one's come out yet. But...dad..." he hates how his voice cracks, "Is she...is Sakura gonna..."

_Is she gonna be okay?_

It goes unspoken. The last time he'd asked that question, mom had...

Fujitaka puts a hand on his head and keeps it there.

"She's stronger than we give her credit for. I'm sure Sakura-chan will come out of this just fine." 

Touya feels like he's ten years old again. Sitting here in a painfully white waiting room while someone he loved was on Death's door. Sakura was gone that time, too, with Sonomi- a hospital was no place for a toddler. Except this time...

This time Sakura's the one he might lose this time.

Perhaps it's a curse- any member of the Kinomoto family named after a flower is doomed to die young, or something like that.

God he really hopes not. 

_God...mom...anyone...whatever power is up there, please...don't let my baby sister die!_


	2. Lingering

Touya can't focus. 

In the past, he'd gotten part time jobs at places he thought Sakura would be- a way to watch over her while still getting money to pay for college.

That decision had come back to bite him. 

Fujitaka had gently pushed him out of the waiting room, telling him to walk Yukito home and then get some sleep.

Touya remembered he'd requested extra hours, and had gotten a morning shift at...somewhere. He couldn't remember the name, but at least the address stuck. 

So he walked a dazed Yukito home and went to work at roughly 3 in the morning.

And now here he is, working. But he pictures Sakura so easily, green eyes narrowed at the display case as she decides on her order, or seated at a booth, smiling and laughing with her friends. He can picture her look of astonishment- he has it memorized from every other time she caught him in the middle of a shift- and can see it shift into a look of typical mild annoyance.

_Nii-chan! Why are you here?_

She'd ask, and Touya would shrug.

_Work._

Or he'd be in the back, stocking new products, and he'd think, oh, she'd probably like this, or maybe she'd laugh at how awful this flavor combination sounds or, she'd definitely hate this one but she would eat it just to spite me.

Touya can't focus. 

He has to leave only an hour into his shift, but his manager is understanding when he tells him a bit of what had happened. 

_My sister is in the hospital. We don't know what happened- she fell behind the elementary school._

And that's enough to get him the next couple weeks off to get his affairs in order. 

So he goes home and tries to sleep, tossing and turning uselessly in his bed as his mind conjures up nightmares of tombstones.

_Here lies Kinomoto Sakura_

_198X-199X_

_Beloved daughter and sister_

He wakes up with a scream caught in his throat. He slept through his alarm and then through homeroom, judging by said alarm. 

He decides not to go to school and instead returns to the hospital. It is still horribly, painfully bright, and Fujitaka is still there, still tired and haggard. 

"No news yet," he says as Touya approaches him.

Touya frowns. 

"No news is good news..." he decides, falling into a plastic chair beside his father. 

Fujitaka takes a deep breath, the sound echoing out from his very bones and into the silent waiting room. 

There aren't any other people here besides the two of them and the receptionist. 

They talk softly, neither of them wanting to disturb the silence while simultaneously unable to handle it.

"Touya...should I have been home more? Is there anything I could've done to stop this? If I'd just been there to keep a better eye on her..."

Touya frowns.

He has to take a minute to think.

"...no, dad," he says finally. "You did what you felt you had to. You couldn't have known this would happen. No one could've." 

He takes a shaky breath of his own.

"I should've taken better care of her while you were gone. If I wasn't so focused on work, maybe I could've..." 

His breath hitches.

Fujitaka sighs and tugs his son into an embrace. 

"Touya-kun. You're still a child. You're almost an adult, but not yet. You shouldn't have to worry about this. It's beyond our control, and as family, you're going to worry anyway. But you can lean on me. I haven't always been there, but I promise I'll be here for you more from now on, and Sakura-chan when she wakes up." 

Ah. That does it.

His eyes burn. There's a lump in the back of his throat. 

Fujitaka rubs small circles on his back as he slowly breaks down and allows himself to cry.


	3. Tiny Light

Either school lets out or he skips class, but for one reason or another, Yukito slowly enters the waiting room. 

Coincidentally, or rather, conveniently, he has just enough time to sit down on Touya's other side before the green light of the OR switches off. 

Touya clenches his fists in anticipation, his eyes still red and puffy from crying.

A doctor exits, his pristine white scrubs rumpled with a few blood stains. Touya very carefully focuses on the doctor's face. 

"Is there a Kinomoto Fujitaka-san here?" He asks. 

Fujitaka raises his hand. 

"I am Kinomoto Fujitaka. These two are my son and his partner- please tell me, how is she? How is my daughter?" 

The doctor smiles tiredly. 

"She'll live." 

Fujitaka slumps against his chair, and Touya feels his body relax. 

"When can we see her?" Yukito asks. The doctor frowns.

"Not for a couple hours- we need to set her up in a new room," he says. "We did what we could, but her body still needs time to heal," he says, pausing to allow them to process his words.

"For the time being, Sakura-san has been placed under a medically-induced coma, so she'll be unconscious and on life support until her body is more stable," he explains, "and after that, it could take anywhere from three days to two weeks for the medication to leave her system. And even after that, brain damage is still a very real possibility- but we can't determine _that_ until she's awake." 

Touya isn't sure what to feel now, the words _she'll live_ and _coma_ and _brain damage_ swirling in his head like the whirlpool at the aquarium, except he can't tear them apart this time. 

"And furthermore, we were able to repair her body, but due to the force and angle of her fall, the lower portion of her spine was damaged and the nerves controlling her legs were cut. We stitched together her muscles and organs and set her bones as best we could, but we can't do anything about the nerves. She won't be able to walk again. I'm so very sorry..." 

Touya glares at the floor, distantly aware of his dad assuring the doctor that he did his best, Sakura-chan's alive and that's the important thing. 

The possibility of brain damage stands out the most, and Touya only feels more anxious now. 

He remembers lessons from his biology class, about brain damage and the different forms that it can take, from minor speech impediments to narcolepsy to....worse. 

He remembers reading about people trapped in their own bodies, about people who had brain damage and recovered but were never able to communicate it, infantilized and humiliated and _tormented by it_ for the rest of their lives. 

Sakura is alive, but would it even be worth it to her if she's permanently disabled and isn't even aware of it? If she _is_ aware of it? 

The thought chills him to his core as Yukito settles a hand on his shoulder. 

"Touya-kun. Sakura-chan is alive. Things will be a little different, but...it'll definitely be all right." 

Those words are Sakura's magic spell (quite literally, Touya reckons, as the air sings and lightens just a bit when she says them) and Touya relaxes. 

"Yeah...yeah. It'll be okay."

* * *

A couple hours later, Tomoyo joins them. She has Sakura's little plush thing tucked under one arm, and in the other is a book with a bright red cover and gold embellishments. 

Touya very carefully does not point out the spirits he can see trailing behind her. 

"Sakura loves Kero-chan," she says, smiling sadly, and leaves it at that. 

It's a childish thing, but Touya knows she's right. Even though he doesn't know where it came from, Sakura loves that plush toy and started carrying it everywhere with her. It should be here, too, at her bedside at least. 

He nods. 

"Now that we're all here," Fujitaka says, walking back from the receptionist's desk, "it looks like we can visit Sakura-chan now." 


	4. Nemuri-hime

Touya is the last to enter the room. He sees Fujitaka's steps falter in the doorway, and he sees Yukito's tense, careful footsteps, and he sees Tomoyo stiffen as she walks like a timid, newly-dead ghost to Sakura's hospital bed. 

And he sees Sakura herself, and he has to take a minute to stop and stare and remember.

Sakura was always short for her age, even for a girl. Touya remembers seeing her after she was born, and she was tiny then, too, but it was different to how she is now. 

She wasn't alone then. 

But she is now, alone in a too-big hospital bed with too-big pillows and too many machines and tubes and wires and medical tape all attached to her too pale body. Even the strange spirits keep away from her, as if they know their presence could cause those machines to malfunction.

He hears them murmuring, though, their voices like wisps of air.

_Oh, sweet Mistress..._

_I failed you._

_I'm sorry I couldn't be useful._

_Why didn't you use me?_

_We'll capture them for your sake..._

He doesn't understand what they mean by those words, doesn't understand what spiritual mess Sakura is involved with, but this is definitely not the time to ask. 

Tomoyo steps up first, like the loyal friend she is, and places the stuffed plush toy at the edge of the bed. 

"Sakura-chan...I brought Kero-chan for you...we...we're so sorry...we shouldn't have ever...w...we...we shouldn't...!" She breaks down in tears and Yuki hugs her with a pained expression.

Touya steps up with a worried crease in his brow. 

"Oi...you'd better wake up soon, kaiju. I can't do all the housework forever, y'know."

This elicits a small laugh from Yuki and a watery smile from Tomoyo. 

Fujitaka takes a seat beside the bed and frowns deeply. 

"Sakura-san...please come back to us..."


	5. Moonrise

There is a voice in Yukito's head. It asks him to stay a while, to stay as Tomoyo-chan and Touya-kun and Fujitaka-san finally leave. 

It asks him to stay, and Yukito obliges. 

In a flurry of white feathers, Yue takes over, his pale skin and white hair and white wings blending in with the white walls and his icy blue eyes even icier in his anger. 

He sees Keroberos in his own disguise, sees him open his mouth, and he silences him with a glare colder than anything The Freeze could make up. 

"The Windy. The Fly. The Shadow. The Watery. The Rain. The Wood. The Jump." His voice is even colder than his glare, but he doesn't particularly care.

"They belong to Kinomoto Sakura as they do me, and they love her. They loved her as soon as she opened The Book, Keroberos." 

Keroberos, in his childish disguise, slumps. 

"I know that, Yue, but-"

""but" nothing. They would have returned to her whether she captured them or not. The Windy would've carried them back to her if it had to. My cards love her and accept her as their new Mistress."

He looks down at her comatose form, pale and only kept alive by this new human science. His gaze softens just a little bit, for her. 

"I felt her magic. I felt the strength of her will and the kindness of her heart as soon as she was born, and I watched over her- Yukito watched over her- before you were even awake. I love her as the Cards love her." 

He returns his icy gaze to Keroberos, cutting off his retort before he can even say it. 

"And _you_ hurt her, Keroberos. She needlessly endangered herself because _you insisted_ she had to capture the cards, like some sort of aggressive conquerer, and now she is comatose and crippled in a way not even the Cards can heal, and it is _your fault._ " 

His voice is cold and venomous and hateful, and he wants to grab Keroberos and throttle him for hurting their Mistress, but he knows better than to follow through. If he uses his magic in a place like this, it would interact with the strange machines and put his tiny Mistress in even more danger. 

He pointedly averts his gaze from the Sun Guardian and rests a hand lightly on Sakura's forehead. She feels so cold. 

"You've forgotten. She has so much more power than _he_ ever did, but she is still so terribly human. And humans are fragile, like glass. Undoubtedly, if she didn't have her magic, she would have died." 

He sighs and steps away, letting Clow's magic circle form under his feet as he prepares to return to his disguise. 

"You really are a terrible guardian, Keroberos." 

His wings fold in and obscure his face as Keroberos shouts indignantly, flying up to yell in his face. 

"Oi! You have no right to say that when you were....late...ummm..." 

Yukito blinks curiously, surprised at both the hovering form of Sakura-chan's favorite toy yelling in his face and that his mind doesn't feel as fuzzy as it normally does after his blackouts. 

He frowns. 

"Ah. So that's how it is?" He says, a finger on his chin as he examines the toy's wings. "I suppose something _did_ feel off about you....Kero-chan," he hums, "and I suppose that explains why Sakura-chan carries you around even though no one knows how you came to her."

Kero-chan opens his mouth. 

"H-hold on moon-bunny, I can explain-" 

"-but," Yukito cuts him off, saving him the trouble, "you're right, I was late. I wasn't fast enough to save her." 

He smiles sadly as Kero-chan hangs his arms down, lost. 

"I don't know exactly what's going on between you and Sakura-chan," he says, "and I won't ask. I trust you to tell me on your own- when you're not stressed out from being found out." He looks down at Sakura's pale, surprisingly clean face. 

"But I'm sure whatever it is, you're doing your best to look after her, just like the rest of us. She'll be okay- I'm sure of it." 

He smiles and repeats Sakura's favorite spell, and even though Kero doesn't feel the tingle of magic when he says it, he does feel a little calmer. 

"It'll be alright."


	6. Tomoyo-chan's No-Good, Very Bad Day

Tomoyo goes to school as if everything is normal, and then she sees Terada-sensei's face and remembers that nothing is normal, and probably won't ever be again. 

"I have bad news," Terada-sensei says from the podium as the class settles. 

"It seems Kinomoto-san has fallen from the cliff behind the school and is in the hospital. No one knows when she'll be out, or if she'll even be the same when she returns." 

Rika-chan and Chiharu-chan and Naoko-chan and even Yamazaki-kun look back at Tomoyo- she knows Sakura-chan best, so surely she can explain things. 

But her mind tunes everything out- all she can think of is Sakura-chan. Sakura-chan. Sakura-chan. And as the day passes and lunchtime rolls around, and Naoko-chan and Yamazaki-kun and Chiharu-chan and Rika-chan sit with her under their usual tree, Tomoyo can't find the words to tell them what happened. 

Her rice is suddenly bland and heavy on her tongue. Her throat closes up, and she can hardly swallow. 

All she can see is the conspicuous empty spot in their circle where Sakura-chan should be, but isn't.


	7. Genkaku

The Illusion hears about their mistake from the face they'd borrowed, from the angel-human-ghost their Mistress called "mom". 

She appears in the forest behind the school, where The Illusion waits for their Mistress to return and play Chase with them again. They almost don't recognize her. Almost. 

But "Mom" has the same eyes as Mistress, if a bit dimmer- Mistress didn't inherit magic from "Mom", after all. 

"Mom" looks at The Illusion and frowns, displaying an emotion The Illusion themself is unfamiliar with. 

"You went too far," she says. 

"You went too far. My daughter, your Mistress, she chased you-who-looked-like-me, and she fell."

The Illusion stares at "Mom" with eyes she cannot see, and they do not understand.

"Mom" knows this, and her own eyes soften. 

"You are a powerful spirit, and my daughter, your Mistress, is a powerful human. And she enjoys playing games and making friends, and that's all you wanted, yes?" 

The Illusion finally speaks, in that wispy voice only other spirits and special humans can hear. 

"I saw Mistress smiling, and I wanted to play Chase with Mistress and Friends. It was so wonderful!" 

"Mom" frowns. 

"I'm sure she enjoyed it. But even so, I fear you tricked her too well." 

She gestures towards the forest opening, towards the cliff The Illusion recognizes. 

"She chased you when you were me- she chased you right over the cliff, and now she is very badly hurt. She will not ever be able to play Chase with you again." 

The Illusion feels a pang of something foreign- something heavy and deep and sour. They do not like this feeling. 

"Where is Mistress?" They ask. "Where is my Mistress!?" 

"Mom" points a long finger.

"She is at a hospital, sleeping-" 

"Mistress is sleeping? Mistress is hurt and Mistress is sleeping? Mistress must always smile! I will go! I will make Mistress see happy things!" 

"Mom" smiles faintly. 

"Be very careful," she orders. "At that place called a hospital, there are many machines you will not recognize, but you must not approach them, or they will break, and your Mistress might die." 

The Illusion does not acknowledge "Mom"'s words. Rather, they fly off in the direction indicated by her finger, steadily feeling for the faint bond tethering them to their Mistress, following as it goes from _very faint_ to just _faint_ , and then, above a pure white building that looks vaguely like the laboratories The Illusion remembers, they feel it. 

Their Mistress is in here.


	8. Sentinel

The next few days pass by in a blur. 

Go to school. Try and fail to avoid thinking of his comatose sister. Visit said comatose sister. Try and fail to avoid looking at the spirits hovering around her. Try and fail to go to sleep. 

Rinse. Repeat.

And though he never speaks to them, Touya only ever sees the same five spirits, and not one of them is his mother. 

_You won't even visit Sakura when she's in a coma? I wonder....have you just completely crossed over, mom? Or are you not worried? Does that mean she'll be okay?_

* * *

During a certain visit, Touya keeps his usual vigil at Sakura's side. The spirits move around anxiously. 

Yuki was called in to help the basketball club after school, and Tomoyo was busy with her own extracurricular stuff- he wasn't paying attention when she said what it was exactly. Fujitaka had to leave for a dig- he'd probably be back in a couple weeks at most. 

So it's just Touya and the spirits and the suspicious plush on Sakura's bedside table.

He sighs.

He wanted to know why these spirits are so attached to his sister, right? Now would be the best time to ask.

He sighs again, and one of the spirits- a fair womanly humanoid- turns to him. 

"Why do you hover over her like that?" He asks. The spirit looks surprised and looks around itself. Herself? Themself? 

Touya nods. 

"Yeah. I'm talking to you, spirit-san. I can see you. I can hear you, too. So why?" 

The spirit glides over to him and Touya realizes it- she? They?- is really tall. 

"This girl whom you call Kinomoto Sakura...." she begins- well, Touya assumes "she" anyway-, "She is very dear to us. She is very special. You are special, too, it seems." 

She leans down to look into Touya's eyes. 

"This was never her intention, yet....special child, have you heard of the magician Clow Reed?"


	9. Happy Dream

Touya listens as the spirit introduces themself (they also tell him they are literally the wind, manifested and formed into a card and as such, they and the other spirits are exempt from most human concepts- like gender, they say with a wink) as The Windy. 

He listens as The Windy tells him about a long-dead magician named Clow Reed, who used his magic to give form to different elements and concepts, and who predicted that a girl born in Tomoeda would be their new Mistress. 

"We followed Clow Reed faithfully until he crossed over," they say, "and he told us and Keroberos and Yue that a girl named Sakura would be his descendant, and would become our new Mistress. And then, we fell asleep- until a certain day she opened The Book." 

"'The Book'?" Touya asks, his eyes drifting to the red and gold book on the table. 

The Windy follows his gaze. 

"Yes. She opened The Book of Clow and woke us from our slumber. Many of the others were startled by the strength of her magic, and escaped into the world," The Windy begins, smiling gently at Sakura's pale form. "But I chose to stay. Kinomoto Sakura is so warm and bright and kind, like a shining star, and I felt it even then. The Wood and The Rain felt it as well, and they too stayed nearby- though she didn't find them until a few days had passed." 

Touya frowns. 

"But wait- why'd she have to find them, then? If you all knew she was supposed to control you anyway, wouldn't it be better to wait till the others calmed down and came to her?" 

The Windy raises their gaze slightly, eyeing the winged plush toy Sakura used to carry. 

"Keroberos is the Guardian of the Sun and the Guardian Beast of the Seal. Though he has been with us and with our Mistress all this time, he has never been terribly perceptive. It is his nature, as it is the sun's nature to bring light to the surface of the earth and no further. Keroberos did not see we would return willingly, and so he insisted that our kind Mistress become a ruthless hunter and bind us to her." 

Touya directs his frown towards the plush toy. Or rather, if The Windy is implying what he thinks- the Guardian of the Sun.

"But one should not force another to go against their nature," the spirit continues. 

"It never goes well." 

And then, as if on cue, Touya senses a new presence. The air sharpens. The other spirits who had till now kept a silently anxious vigil over Sakura begin to speak again as a new spirit floats in from the ceiling. They sound so very angry, Touya almost feels scared. 

_Traitor!_

_It's_ your _fault!_

_You hurt our Mistress!_

The new spirit flickers through many different faces and forms, some Touya recognizes and many he does not.

_Capture and destroy them!_

_Avenge our Mistress!_

_Your fault! Your fault!_

The heart-monitor quickens, and Touya goes to yell- either to call a nurse or to tell them to knock it off, preferably both- but a new voice, high and childish and vaguely familiar, beats him to it. 

"HEY! All of you BE QUIET!"

The plush toy Guardian flies down to Sakura's feet, arms crossed like an angry parent. 

Abruptly, the spirits fall silent. 

Keroberos's expression does not falter, even as the monitor slows back down. 

He sighs and looks at Touya briefly before returning to the quiet card spirits.

"That's better. Now listen to me." He gestures to the tubes and needles connecting Sakura to the different machines.

"The machines in this room are the only things keeping Sakura-chan alive right now, and if any of you use your magic here, they won't work and Sakura-chan _will_ die." 

Someone- The Watery, if Touya's guess is accurate- inhales sharply. 

Keroberos flies up to meet the newcomer, who wears the form of a bespectacled man in blue robes. 

"We are all angry at The Illusion for tricking Sakura-chan and causing her to get hurt. But we still need to listen to what they have to say."

Keroberos gestures again and The Illusion, retaining that unfamiliar form, kneels down at the foot of Sakura's bed. 

And when they speak, their voice sounds clear and human.

"I....I am sorry..." they say. "I...I never wanted Mistress to hurt...I saw Mistress and her friends, and...I wanted to play with them. I wanted to make Mistress smile." 

They clasp their hands, looking up towards Sakura's face like a sinner would look at an angel. 

"My Mistress...I am so...so sorry..."


	10. Confession Booth

Touya goes home that night and for the first time in what feels like forever, he falls asleep and does not dream. 

He awakens feeling refreshed, and he even goes to school. Sensei says it's okay if he takes time off, but Touya stays in class. 

When Sakura wakes up, she'll be behind in her classwork- and that's without accounting for potential brain damage or even typical aspects of recovery like therapy, and whatever else might crop up. And Touya absolutely does _not_ trust literal _spirits_ to help her catch up. 

So he goes to school, pushes through thoughts of Sakura during PE (God she _loved_ PE and now she won't ever-) and ignores the other side of the fence where Sakura's friends are eating lunch- ignores the obvious Sakura-shaped gap in the group of grade-schoolers.

And after school, he goes to Tomoeda Elementary and asks Sakura's homeroom teacher for copies of the last week's lesson plans- and future lesson plans, while he's at it. Terada-sensei agrees readily- but only because Sakura is a good student, he says, and he trusts Touya to help her catch up when he himself cannot. Touya questions the legality of it, but keeps his mouth shut.

The next day, he visits Sakura again with Yukito and Tomoyo- and "Kero-chan", as Sakura called him, but he's always at her side now, along with those five- now six- spirits, so he doesn't count. 

Terada-sensei had given Touya a copy of his class's workbook, figuring Touya might want to brush up on his grade school knowledge. So at Sakura's bedside, he pulls it out and works through a section of it, reading everything aloud as the spirits hover around him in silent curiosity. 

"Why are you doing work from our class, Touya-san?" Tomoyo asks. Touya grunts distractedly- how long has it been since he even had to use long division?- so Yukito answers for him. 

"They say that even if someone is comatose, like Sakura-chan, a part of their brain can still recognize when people around them are speaking," he says, smiling in Touya's direction. 

"Hey, that's pretty smart, Yuki-bunny!" 

Activity ceases. 

Touya's head shoots up. 

"Why thank you Kero-chan." Yukito says easily. 

Tomoyo squeaks, her already pale complexion now even paler. 

Kero-chan flies over to perch on her shoulder. 

"Relax a little, 'kay? All three of you know now, so there's no need to worry!" 

Yukito and Touya shoot each other quizzical looks and then look at Tomoyo. She fiddles with the hem of her skirt and lets out a deep sigh. 

"I found out first," she admits shyly. "I was taking a picture of the moon when I saw something flying- it was too big to be a bird, but the wrong shape to be a plane or a helicopter, so I zoomed in," she says with a reminiscent smile, "and I saw Sakura-chan using The Fly card for the very first time! Oh, she looked so pretty flying in the night sky on her winged staff!"

Her smile turns sad. 

"I guess she won't be able to do that again either...." 

Kero-chan pats her head. 

"Hey. It'll be okay- I'm sure we can figure something out! We just gotta be more creative!" 

She pats Kero-chan's head with her finger at the same time Yukito looks at Touya. 

"So, Touya-kun, what about you? How did you find out about Kero-chan?" 

Touya shrugs. 

"I guess I kinda suspected something was off, but I didn't actually find out till the other day," he says, shutting the book and gesturing around himself, "There are these spirits that've been hovering around Sakura this whole time, and I got curious. The wind one- The Windy- told me everything." 

Tomoyo looks shocked. 

"Eeh? You can see them? Even though Sakura-chan returned them to their cards???" 

He nods. 

"Yeah. I could see that kind of stuff since I was little. I haven't seen mom in a while though- it's worrying, but at the same time, I guess it means she's not worried?" He questions. 

An unseen breeze- The Windy, Tomoyo thinks- ruffles his hair and he leans into it a bit before looking at Yukito. 

"Well, that's my story. What about yours Yuki?" 

Yukito shrugs. 

"I'm not really sure what happened, myself." He begins, sounding unbothered by it. "A while ago after you left, there was a weird voice in my head I didn't recognize. It asked me to stay longer, and it sounded sad, so I decided to stay- and then I blacked out again. When I came to, Kero-chan was yelling at me," 

Touya looks pointedly at Kero-chan, still on Tomoyo's shoulder. 

"So then, what happened, _omocha_?" 

Kero-chan fidgets. 

"H-hey! I'm _not_ a toy, so don't call me that! Secondly, if- er- well- um- the thing is- and-" 

"Cut to it, _o-mo-cha._ " 

"Well...you really won't like what I have to say...." Kero-chan says with a serious expression. 

"Do you really, _really_ wanna know?"

"Try me."


	11. Moonbeams

Kero-chan sighs heavily. 

"Alright...but don't say I didn't warn you, okay?" 

The serious expression on his face doesn't match his plush form at all, but no one dares comment on it. He looks at The Book of Clow sitting innocently on the nightstand. 

"Alright. Alright. So, you've all seen the big empty spot on the cover of The Book, right? Well, that's where I was- until Sakura-chan opened it, anyway." 

Kero-chan looks back at Sakura's comatose form, as if she could give him strength. 

"What does that have to do with Yuki?" Touya asks impatiently. Kero-chan frowns. 

"The picture that was there is actually my true form," he says, ignoring him. "So this form I'm in now is actually a disguise- it takes much less magic to maintain, y'see," he puts a plush paw to his chest. 

"But see, I'm the Sun Guardian, and Clow Reed's magic works on the idea of balance, so that means there's a moon guardian, too. He should've been on the back cover of The Book, but he wasn't there when I woke up," Kero-chan says, his expression now one of a detective explaining a crime. "And I only just figured out why." 

He looks pointedly at Touya, and then Yukito. 

"The Moon Guardian, Yue, told me he'd been watching over Sakura-chan since she was born." He says, returning to Touya. "You wouldn't have noticed cause he has a disguised form, too, and his is a lot less noticeable than mine." 

He speaks to Touya even as he returns his gaze to Yukito. 

"Touya-kun. How old were you when you met Yuki-bunny, here?" 

Tomoyo lets out a small "oh..." as realization dawns across her face. Touya hesitates before answering. 

"I was...six years old. It was a few months before I'd turned seven...it was...about the time...mom found out she was...pregnant...with...Sakura..." 

He looks at Yukito and frowns as Kero-chan nods. 

"Mm. Yue disguised himself pretty good- he created an entirely different persona with its own memories and personality- not to say that Yuki-bunny's not his own person, cause he _is,_ " Kero-chan hastens to say, "but at the same time, he's also Yue. It's like...they share the same body- though it changes a little when Yue takes over." 

Yukito looks down at his feet. 

"So then, that voice I heard..." 

Kero-chan nods. "That's definitely Yue."

"While it's my job to guard the Clow Cards, it's his job to judge whoever catches them- to see if they're worthy of being their master," he starts to explain, "but like me and the cards, he really loved Clow Reed. So when Clow Reed prophesised that a girl named Sakura would be born here and would become our new mistress, Yue decided to watch over her." 

Kero-chan looks down, his wings drooping. 

"He loves her too, he's just not great with emotions, so I think that's why you can't remember when he's out," he says to Yukito. 

Yukito nods his head and ponders aloud. 

"Hmm...I wonder if I should try and ask him to come out?" 

Tomoyo cocks her head as loud clicking footsteps echo beyond the door. Touya frowns as they stop outside. 

"Might wanna save it, Yuki." He says simply as Kero-chan forces himself to drop like an actual toy into Yukito's lap. 

A nurse slides the door open, dressed in the standard pale scrubs. 

"Hello!" She says. "Sorry to interrupt, but I need to take Sakura-san for a few tests if that's okay- and if they go well, we might even be able to bring her out of her coma!" She explains. Touya stands up and stretches his arms with a groan as his joints pop. 

Yukito stands with him and goes to return Kero-chan to the nightstand. 

"That's okay," Touya says. "We were just leaving." 

The nurse smiles, her voice still chipper as she prepares to roll Sakura's bed out. 

"Oh of course- have a good day, and please come again soon!" 

"Thank you very much!" Tomoyo calls over her shoulder as Yukito and Touya lead her out of the room.


	12. Wolf Cub

The very next day, Tomoyo's class gets a new student- a boy from Hong Kong named Li Xiao Lang. 

Tomoyo herself doesn't pay much attention to him except to note that he is quiet and withdrawn in a way that feels like fire. 

Terada-sensei tells Li-kun to sit behind Kinomoto- and his voice chokes a little, so he rephrases it.

"Your seat is two seats behind Daidouji-san. Daidouji-san, please raise your hand." 

Tomoyo raises her hand, just aware enough to follow instructions, but not enough to really care why. 

Sakura-chan reminds her of fire, too, warm where Li-kun is burning and gentle where he seems to silently rage. 

Sakura-chan is a hearth where Li-kun is a blaze.

* * *

Throughout the day, Xiao Lang- Syaoran as his name is pronounced here in Japan- hears about a "Kinomoto" and a "Sakura-chan". He pieces together that they are the same person, but is reluctant to ask about her. 

He doesn't miss the way no one can say her name without almost crying. 

So she is, for some reason or another, not at Tomoeda Elementary. 

And yet, Syaoran remembers his mother telling him there were signs of a person his age, using magic here. 

He doesn't feel any magic though, except a bit of residual magic around Daidouji-san. 

So that person- his reason for being in Tomoeda at all- must be Kinomoto Sakura. 

When Syaoran eventually asks around during lunch, one of the boys points him to Daidouji-san- "she's Kinomoto-san's best friend, so she can help you more than I could", he says. 

So as the school day winds down, Syaoran corners her in the classroom after everyone else is gone. 

"Who is Kinomoto Sakura?" He asks bluntly, arms loosely crossed at his chest. 

Daidouji-san looks at him, searching for something, perhaps, and her lips quirk upwards in a sad sort of smile- the first time he sees her face break from a blank stare. 

"I'm about to visit her. Would you come with me, Li-kun? I'm sure Sakura-chan would love you." 

And Syaoran nods without really thinking, and allows Daidouji-san to lead him out of the school.

* * *

The hospital is white and cold in a way that sets him on edge, but Syaoran absolutely would not complain about it- not openly, at least. 

He figured it was something like this- that Kinomoto Sakura had somehow landed herself in the hospital, sick at best and mortally wounded at worst. If his suspicion is correct and she _is_ his rival, surely it's a result of a Clow Card. And with the Clow Cards involved...

He mentally prepares himself for the worst. 

Tomoyo slides the door open. 

Syaoran is struck by the sight of a honeyed brunette wisp of a girl engulfed within a hospital bed, and he feels entirely wrong footed as the rhythmic beeps of the various life-support machines reach his ears. 

He'd initially come to Tomoeda with a pre-established dislike- perhaps even hatred- towards his undoubtedly oblivious rival, a familial grudge between East and West passed on like a torch. 

But it's hard to bear a one-sided grudge when the recipient of it is both unaware of it and comatose. 

And just like that, the blaze of rage in his heart- the hatred towards a girl who likely didn't know he even existed, for taking what should have been his- flickers and sputters and fades. 

If this is the price to pay for mastery of the Clow Cards, he wants no part in it. 

Syaoran slowly sits down in the chair at her bedside and lets his eyes wander until they rest on the Book of Clow. 

Daidouji-san moves to stand beside him, following his gaze. 

"I knew it..." he says under his breath. 

"Did you come here because of the Clow Cards, Li-kun?" 

Syaoran jumps. 

Never mind being wrong footed- his feet have been swept out from underneath him! 

"Yeah," he says instead, hiding his thoughts when he could not hide his physical reaction. 

"I'm related to Clow Reed through the Li bloodline. The Cards are my birthright," he says, looking down at his hands then over to Sakura. 

"But...if this is the price to pay...I don't need them." 

Daidouji-san is silent for a moment, judging, until she isn't. 

"Does that mean you'll return to Hong Kong, then? Even though you just got here?" 

Syaoran shakes his head. 

"No. I promised I would only return once all the Clow Cards are captured. I may not want them anymore, but," he gestures to Sakura, "they are dangerous if left unchecked. Even you can see that, Daidouji-san. So I suppose I'll do what I can to help _someone_ capture them." 

Daidouji-san smiles. 

"Thank you, Li-kun. Sakura-chan will definitely appreciate your help when she wakes up. And...you can call me Tomoyo-chan, too, if you want." 

Syaoran nods his head in silent acknowledgement. 

"Ah. Right. Then...Tomoyo-san...since you're her friend, can you tell me what happened?" 


	13. Tension

Tomoyo freezes up. She still isn't ready to talk about it- the way Sakura fell while quite literally chasing a ghost, the despair in her voice as she called to a woman who would not answer, the way her limbs audibly cracked against the pavement, red and white, the way the silence deafened her as Yukito-san rushed to perform CPR, his clothes stained red with Sakura-chan's- 

She still isn't ready to talk about it. She would probably never be ready to talk about it. And even if she was, no one would believe her. 

But she doesn't have the heart to lie, either- it would be a disservice to Sakura-chan.

But Li-kun already knows about the Clow Cards- probably about Kero-chan and Yue, too. 

He'd believe her.

So, her face pale and palms sweating and body trembling, her amethyst eyes far away, she opens her mouth to explain. 

It is not her voice that answers.

"It was The Illusion," Touya says from the doorway, "not that it's any of your business, brat." He shut the door before he spoke, Tomoyo notices. 

Syaoran nods slowly. 

"That explains the 'why', but not the 'how'," he comments. 

Tomoyo swallows, feeling just a bit braver as Touya goes to hang his bag on the back of the chair.

"It was...t-the cliff...right...right behind the school. W-we saw...Nadeshiko-san...and," she sniffs, "and Sakura-chan, she chased after her- she was just s-so happy, t-to see her mom again...!" 

Tomoyo wraps her arms around herself, trying and failing not to cry. Touya frowns and instinctively crouches down to rub her back, just like he would for Sakura when she was younger. 

"She chased her," he says, taking over for her, "or it? Them? The Illusion took the form of our dead mom, and Sakura-chan chased it right over the cliff." 

Syaoran tilts his head. 

"This was just her first Card, right?" 

Tomoyo shakes her head and holds up exactly eight fingers. Touya elaborates. 

"She caught seven already- Windy, Fly, Shadow, Watery, Rain, Wood, and Jump." 

Syaoran huffs. 

"Then why didn't she use one of those to catch herself?" He presses. 

Touya glares at him, but there's no venom in it. 

"If you have to ask," he says slowly, "then you wouldn't understand. Do you really think you'd behave rationally if you were suddenly faced with the one person you wanted to see most in the world?" 

Syaoran closes his eyes. 

"My family's training ensured I would think clearly in _any_ situation." 

Touya's glare softens to something more sympathetic. 

"That explains it," he says with a long sigh as Tomoyo sniffles under his hand.

"You've probably already figured it out, but all of us- we live pretty free lives. Sakura-chan didn't go through any sort of training before she was suddenly told to capture the Clow Cards," he says, gesturing to The Book of Clow. "She stumbled across the book in our dad's study and let the cards out by accident. It wasn't her fault- she had no idea what she was getting into," Touya scolds before Syaoran can even say anything. "But Keroberos- that toy sitting on top of The Book- told her she had to capture them, and instead of trying to actually prepare Sakura-chan for it, he just gave her a magic wand and said "go"." 

The plush- no, Keroberos- twitches, then abruptly shouts. 

"Really, you bully!? You're just gonna out me like that, haaah!? Just like that!?" 

Touya scowls. 

"This was entirely your fault, omocha," he says unsympathetically. "You may as well learn to live with it- especially when you get to help with her wheelchair."

Keroberos growls, and a small laugh comes from Tomoyo. 

It's a simple, if somewhat unusual, scene, but it makes Syaoran's chest feel tight. 

These people live much simpler lives, unburdened by clan politics and the pressure to live up to their ancestoral legacies, and maybe, just a little bit-

He wants to be a part of it.


	14. Fleeting

The next day, the doctors and anesthesiologists decide Sakura is stable enough for an induced coma to no longer be necessary. 

The machine which had been steadily pumping propofol into her body is shut off and the needle removed. 

Now it's just a matter of waiting for the drugs to leave her system. 

Syaoran returns the next day with Tomoyo, followed by a new spirit. 

"The Time," he says. "It was messing with the clocktower-" he yawns, "-and it kept making us all repeat today." 

Tomoyo seems unaffected by it- maybe Syaoran's fatigue is a matter of magic sensitivity, or something. 

But Touya decides it's unimportant and instead gestures to the Clow Card Syaoran is holding out in the open. 

"What're you planning with that?" He asks. 

Syaoran goes to The Book of Clow and opens it. 

"Helping," he says as he lays the card into the slot. 

"I'm gonna capture whatever cards I can so things'll be easier for all of us when Sakura-san wakes up." 

Touya nods slightly in approval. 

"Right. Don't get yourself killed doing this though, kid. If you get hurt trying to help out, Sakura-chan won't forgive you- and neither will I." 

Syaoran nods and turns back to The Book to cover his yawn. He didn't think time-travel could be so physically exhausting. 

"When do you think she'll wake up?" He asks after a beat of silence. Touya shrugs, staring at Tomoyo staring at Sakura. 

"Dunno. The books Yuki and I read say it could be anywhere from a few days to a few weeks." He rolls his shoulders, listening idly as the joints crack. 

"Her body never got time to process the trauma of her fall though, so it'll probably be pretty intense. She might even start seizing." 

Tomoyo smiles softly. 

"Wow, you've read alot on this sort of thing, huh?" 

Touya shrugs nonchalantly. 

"Well yeah- gotta be prepared for anything, after all." 

Syaoran nods in agreement. Preparedness is something that was drilled into him as soon as he was able to form cognitive thoughts. 

But nothing ever prepared him for something as heartwrenchingly simple as this- for helping a person who so easily could have been himself in another universe. 


	15. Proof of Life

The Time settles beside Sakura like a grandfather sitting beside his granddaughter, silent like The Shadow amidst the other spirits. There's what- nineof them now? And he can barely see Sakura through them. 

Touya feels a little bit cramped. 

"Just how many Clow Cards _are_ there?" He asks, feigning nonchalance. 

The Watery answers his real question, and he focuses on them as Syaoran and Tomoyo struggle to answer and Keroberos says "53". 

"We are not limited by the bounds of material constructs unless we choose to be," they say, looking at The Wood. The Wood seems almost bashful, if spirits could experience such a thing, as it shrinks down a little. 

The Rain hides in their cloud and The Windy smiles.

If it will put your mind at ease, we can take different forms so we may all watch over our Mistress." 

Touya nods shortly, and just like that, the spirits change. 

The Windy becomes a loop of thin, white-gold chain.

The Fly becomes a silvery-blue feather. 

The Shadow becomes a sphere of obsidian. 

The Watery becomes a droplet of zircon.

The Rain becomes a tuft of silver-spun cotton.

The Wood becomes an emerald leaf.

The Jump becomes a lavender plush rabbit. 

The Illusion becomes a tiny kaleidoscope.

The Time becomes a simple hourglass. 

The kids gape and Touya realizes that from their shared perspective, these objects must have appeared out of thin air. 

He shrugs his shoulders, deciding he doesn't have the energy to explain what just happened beyond a simple, "they shrunk", as he places them on the bedside table- save for The Jump, who wriggles around in his arms and jumps straight onto Sakura's legs with a soft plush plop and a challenging glare. 

Touya opts not to answer that particular challenge. 

Instead, he looks over at the clock and straightens his shoulders. 

"Right. It's about time for all of us to get home. I'll walk you." 

Tomoyo shakes her head. "That's okay- my bodyguards can get me." 

Syaoran stares at her, gaping like a fish, as Touya nods. 

"Okay. We'll wait for them. Then I'll walk this one home," he says with finality as he points with his thumb towards Syaoran. 

The boy snaps back to reality and nods with a muttered, "yes sir". 

Touya almost smiles. Almost. 

The hospital just doesn't have room for patients' relatives to stay overnight, so he has to head home, too, and any time away from Sakura makes him anxious. 

But there's nothing he can do about it now but wait for her to wake up and pray it's not as bad as he fears.


	16. Maternal Instinct

The corridors of Tomoeda General Hospital are brightly lit to accommodate the ceaseless hustle and bustle of the staff, but the rooms- at least, the rooms in which the patients are housed- are dark. 

No one sees Nadeshiko glide along the floor and into the room where Sakura is staying. 

The fluorescent lights pass right through her, the abundance of light granting her a special invisibility which dim moonlight would not provide. But when Nadeshiko looks down at her pale skin, outlined faintly in the silvery light, and then to Sakura, solid and alive but equally translucent, she sees little difference. 

There is no magic in her ghostly form, not like there is in the Clow Cards, so man-made machines cannot interact with her in any way- or react, for that matter. So she glides smoothly across the floor and stops at her daughter's bedside. 

Here, in the solace of the night, with only the Clow Cards as witnesses, Nadeshiko allows herself to weep, tears like liquid mercury trailing down her cheeks and dissipating before they can land on Sakura's cheeks. 

This was not her fault, but she feels powerfully guilty regardless. Because Sakura chased after _her_ visage. Perhaps, if she'd been able to hold on- if she'd clung to life just a little bit longer-

But there is no use in contemplating what-ifs and could-haves. She knows this very well- and she'd imparted this lesson to Touya, too, before she'd realized her presence was enough to make Sakura afraid, before she'd heard her cry when Touya pointed her out, before she had to force herself to vanish from his sight. 

Perhaps it's an instinct now, to avoid her son's line of sight. But it's only because she loves her children, and if Touya sees her here, worrying over things beyond her control, then surely, he'd also worry- more than he already has been, at least. 

And she wants to tell him, so badly, but she doesn't know if her words would help. 

So she stays silent, crying tears of molten silver and running her hand along Sakura's lukewarm cheek as The Jump's red glass eyes watch her carefully.

* * *

It happens while Touya and Tomoyo and Yukito and Syaoran are at school. 

Sakura's hand twitches. A soft groan leaves her lips- broken syllables. 

"Ika...na...i...!" 

She cuts off, unable to finish her lingering plea- "don't go," she said as she fell- before suddenly convulsing, her body releasing the pent up physiological trauma it hadn't been able to properly process while comatose. 

In their altered forms, the Clow Cards cry out. The Jump leaps onto the control panel, sure they'd seen a human mess with something like it, and presses down with their paws, not comprehending the different buttons, let alone what they even do. And then it falls. 

Perhaps it's the call button. Perhaps the nurse on duty noticed the sudden spike in Sakura's vitals. 

A nurse comes barreling in, panicked but practiced, and wheels the newly-awoken, seizing Sakura out of the room. 


	17. Accelerondo

When Touya leads Tomoyo and Syaoran to the door of Sakura's hospital room, he has to stop and do a double take. While the spirits of the Clow Cards are still on the nightstand, and the Book of Clow is still there, and Keroberos is still on top of it, and all the little things are still exactly as they were last night- 

The bed is gone. 

_Sakura_ is gone. 

He works to conceal his inner panic from the kids behind him, and he doesn't know if he actually succeeds. 

Syaoran peers around his pant leg while Tomoyo waits from her place behind him. Touya looks down and sees the faint frown on his face. 

He hears something rolling against the hard floor of the hall, and he figures a nurse is carting someone to or from testing, and he allows himself a moment of hope even though he expects that hope to be crushed. 

He turns, pulling Syaoran with him so they're pressed up against the wall as the wheeled bed stops. It's angled in such a way that Touya can't see who is inside it. 

A short and squat nurse peeks out from around the other end. 

"Excuse me." 

She turns the bed and Touya feels all the anxious tension melt off of his shoulders, to be replaced by something much lighter. 

"Are you here to visit Kinomoto-san?" The nurse asks. Touya nods. 

"Yeah. She's my sister, and these two are some friends from school." 

The nurse begins reconnecting a few tubes to Sakura's body, but not all of them, as Touya watches from the doorway. 

He clears his throat awkwardly. 

"Since she had to be wheeled out this time, does that mean..." 

The woman's smile tells him everything he needs to know even before she actually speaks. 

"Sakura-san woke up a few hours ago, and her body immediately released all that pent up trauma from her last conscious experience," she says, angling the rest of her body away from Sakura. "For her own safety, we had to sedate her before we could properly run some tests on her." 

She makes to leave and pauses in the doorway beside Touya. 

"It should wear off soon, but I expect she'll still be sleeping a lot. Comas are very taxing on one's stamina, or so I hear." 

She leaves, and Touya fully enters the room with Syaoran and Tomoyo at his heels. Tomoyo shuts the door and immediately, The Jump leaps off their place on the nightstand and lands just below Sakura's stomach. They curl up like a cat and let out a happy, rumbling purr. Tomoyo chuckles. 

"The Clow Cards really like Sakura-chan, don't they?" 

Syaoran nods with little more than an affirmative grunt while Touya allows his body to sink into the chair by the bed. 

Keroberos lets out a relieved sigh. 

"Good thing, too! I had no idea what to do when she woke up and started flailing around like that!" 

"Eeeh? But you're so smart, Kero-chan!" Tomoyo says, a pale hand cupping her cheek. 

The plush toy guardian crosses his arms. 

"Well yeah, but I've never dealt with all these weird machines before, y'know?" 

And it goes on like that while Touya tunes them out and allows himself a moment to just _breathe._

A part of him is glad that he missed seeing Sakura's seizure. A part of him is mildly annoyed that he didn't get to see her when she first woke up. 

He takes that part and violently stomps it down. 

That first time doesn't count, he decides, since Sakura had a seizure. 

Sakura will wake up again, and it will be more peaceful and pleasant for everyone. 

He is sure of it.


	18. Reality

Touya loses track of how long he sits there. At some point Tomoyo leaves, dragging Syaoran with her, but he doesn't really pay attention. All of his focus now is on Sakura and the knowledge that she'll wake up. 

And eventually, his patience is rewarded. 

With a sigh so soft Touya is sure he's imagining it, Sakura's eyes slowly blink open. 

Touya very carefully doesn't react- he doesn't want to accidentally send her into a panic attack- as her eyes slowly move to him. He allows himself a small smile, and he keeps his voice soft and his words slow. 

"Hey....glad to see you're awake. We were really worried....Sakura." 

She doesn't respond, save for a slow blink, and that's okay. Because Touya had read about this, too- about how she'd be in this "minimally-conscious state" after she woke up. 

He knows she can hear him, even if she can't react now. 

So he does the first thing he can think of, and keeps talking. 

"Dad's away on another dig, but he'll be back in a couple days. Your friends have been here, too- also some kid who transferred in from China. Yuki's come here too, with me- he'll be really happy to see you've woken up." 

And he keeps talking even after he runs out of topics, choosing his words carefully so he doesn't bring up anything about the Clow Cards or Keroberos, or their mom. 

And then a nurse pops his head in to inform him that visiting hours are over. 

He stands up, making sure to retain his eye contact with Sakura. 

"I gotta go now, Sakura, but I'll be back tomorrow. Don't worry." He smiles. 

"You won't be alone. I promise."


	19. Carpe Diem

As soon as he gets home, Touya sends a quick text to his father- maybe now he can sleep easy, after far too many nights spent worrying. And then, thinking of sleep, he decides to go to bed, himself. 

He dreams of an infinitely stretching cherry tree, the pink blossoms scattering their petals into a moonlit sky, and of the many creatures nestled in its boughs. 

He awakens to the loud slams of a hammer pounding a nail into wood. He checks his phone, just in case he missed something. 

> _Touya-kun, someone is coming to replace the stairs at 9:00, so don't worry if you hear anything._

Reading dad's text, it occurs to Touya that he hadn't considered this kind of thing until...just now. 

Sakura won't be able to walk, so of course she wouldn't be able to handle stairs- and actually, that brings up another concern, one he'd never really paid attention to simply because he'd never needed it. 

Does Tomoeda Elementary have an elevator? Or ramps? Is it wheelchair-accessible at all? He can't remember- surely it must be, in case any students break their legs or something, right? 

Touya rubs at his temples, deciding it's too early to think about this, and checks the time on his phone. 

9:34.

He sighs and flops back against his pillow. 

He can't go down to make breakfast- not while the stairs are being replaced. But hopefully it'll be done soon.

* * *

The house goes silent at about 11:00. Touya waits an extra fifteen minutes for the worker to leave before going down to the kitchen. He has to pause a little to get used to using a ramp in place of stairs- it's unfamiliar, and in a way, he dislikes how it'll _become_ familiar. But he won't complain- complaining won't magically restore Sakura's use of her legs. 

So, silent with his thoughts, Touya prepares breakfast, and in the same pattern of cooking, he prepares to face the day. 


	20. Diligence

The air is cool and sweet with the scent of springtime flowers, and as he rides his bike to the hospital, Touya can pretend, just for a moment, that everything is normal. 

It's Sunday, there's no school, he goes back to work tomorrow...and he's spending his off time visiting his baby sister, who is currently less expressive than an actual baby, and even less mobile, because of some magical card-spirits. 

Yup. Just a normal day. 

He checks in with the receptionist and enters Sakura's room, and is surprised and also just a tiny bit horrified to see The Windy at Sakura's bedside, talking to her. 

It was fine when she was comatose, but now that she's awake, it's likely that anything at all related to the Clow Cards could send her into a panic attack! 

Touya forces himself to calm down- Sakura is right there, and she is _fine._

The Windy turns to him with a small smile on their face.

"Ah. Brother-of-my-Mistress. You needn't worry." 

Their voice is whispy and high, even for a spirit. If Sakura can hear them now, she doesn't show it- and somehow Touya doubts she could have heard them even before. 

The Windy nods their head towards where Sakura sits upright in the bed, her hair messy- or at least, what hasn't been shaved off for surgeries- and her eyes darting all over the room in unfocused, uncoordinated motions. 

"Our Mistress is the same as she was last you saw her," they continue in a calm tone. Touya feels his body release a bit of tension. 

"What were you doing then?" He asks. 

The Windy's smile becomes fond. 

"I was conversing with her heart. Mistress is kind and gentle- it would be tragic if she was left completely unaware of us right now." 

Touya frowns and rolls his shoulders, then nods. 

The Windy returns to their chain form and Touya replaces them at Sakura's bedside. 

Without really thinking of it, he lightly places one of her hands on his own, stroking the ridges of her knuckles with his thumb as he talks. 

"Hey there, little monster. I'm back. You...probably noticed you can't move your legs right now, huh." He frowns. "It doesn't look like it'll get better any time soon, but...it's okay." He sighs. "It'll be okay. Dad had someone straighten the stairs at home, so you can get around easier when you're back. And...I'll do whatever I have to, too, kay?" 

He squeezes her hand tentatively. 

"You got me and dad and Tomoyo-san and your classmates, and friends you haven't really met yet. And we care about you no matter what's going on, so...."

He places his other hand atop hers in something that could almost be called a pose of prayer. Perhaps that's not entirely wrong.

"Hurry up and come back to us."

He closes his eyes and sniffs- he's not crying again dammit! 

Except Sakura's hand twitches between his own hands. Once. Twice. 

She squeezes against his palms, and the air seems to come alive. 

From her lips, a faint sound- quiet and tentative and shy. 

"Nii...-cha...n..."


	21. Peach Blossom

The Windy has the sense to return to their chain-form, and Touya feels unsure of himself.

But he is his father's son, and he's good at masking his uncertainty, so he offers a smile full of warmth and concern and love, like he had so often before- except Sakura can see it this time- and squeezes Sakura's hand again, just a bit tighter now.

"Welcome back."

* * *

Tomoyo wasn't going to attend the sports festival. It would've been so painful, doing and watching all those things Sakura loved to do- all those things she won't ever be able to do again. 

But towards the beginning of school year, she'd volunteered to take pictures for the yearbook, and it would be bad if she suddenly backed out now. 

So Tomoyo attends Tomoeda Elementary's sports festival and takes pictures of her friends, and congratulates them on their victories in various events. 

And then about halfway through, her mother arrives, and that in itself is unexpected. 

As is befitting of a young heiress, Tomoyo tries to hide her sadness-on-Sakura's-behalf beneath a smile. As a former heiress herself, of course her mother sees right through it. 

So, Sonomi pulls her daughter aside to a secluded spot behind the gymnasium, and, perhaps just because she's a child in need of comfort, Tomoyo tells her everything, starting with Sakura's being crippled and working her way backwards. 

Sonomi frowns and hugs her close, distressed on her behalf and worried (and selfishly grateful) in the way only a mother could be. 

Tomoyo sniffles, and Sonomi pulls out her handkerchief and wipes her nose, and then, with hands firmly on her daughter's shoulders, asks, "would you like to go see Sakura-chan now?". 

Tomoyo nods. 

Sonomi pulls her out of the festival, asking a random student to cover for her, and then they're walking to the hospital.


	22. Hitsuzen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're familiar with Cardcaptor Sakura, you're probably familiar with Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and/or XXXHolic. If you're not, well...  
> There's a recurring theme in those series.  
> Hitsuzen. Destiny.   
> "There is no such thing as coincidence. Only inevitability."   
> If you'll remember, in the anime, Fujitaka saw Sonomi again during Tomoeda Elementary's sports festival, and viewers (and Sakura) learned a bit more about Nadeshiko (presumably Touya already knew this? His dialogue kinda sorta implied it when he explained things to Yukito). We also learned of Fujitaka's promise to Nadeshiko that he wouldn't cry.  
> I've been carefully remembering that in particular.

Fujitaka returns from work earlier than he'd expected, and the moment he exits the airport he heads for the hospital. 

He checks in quickly and power-walks to Sakura's room, eager to check on her and get an update on her status. And he sees Touya at her bedside, speaking softly to her and tracing patterns along her palms, and her eyes follow his fingers. 

Fujitaka slows his breath, allows his shoulders to sag, and goes to open the door-

"Kinomoto-sensei!?" 

-and he isn't ashamed to admit that particular voice makes him jump out of his skin. 

He turns.

Daidouji Tomoyo offers him a wave and a puffy-eyed smile. 

Daidouji nee Amamiya Sonomi glares and opens her mouth to say something- probably something heated and scornful- when the door behind Fujitaka opens. 

"Dad? You're early." 

Touya looks over his father's shoulder and offers a smile to the Daidoujis. 

"Sakura _just woke up_ ," he says pointedly. "The doctor said she can have visitors, as long as they don't _stress her out._ " 

Sonomi falters. 

"Hello, auntie," Touya adds as if he's just noticing her, and flummoxed, she nods. "Ah. Um. Yes. Hello, Touya-kun. My, you've certainly grown!" 

Touya steps aside and allows the three of them into the room. 

Sakura slowly turns her head and opens her mouth to greet them. The names don't come out right, but it's okay. 

"Mmmomo...o...Outss...Ou..." 

She frowns, visibly frustrated. Whether it's at her current inability to properly say their names or at her inability to recognize Sonomi is anyone's guess, but either way it sends a pang of something unpleasant in Fujitaka's chest. 

He pushes through that negative feeling and smiles, reminding himself that this is an improvement compared to how Sakura was when he'd left for work. 

Tomoyo walks right up to Sakura's bedside and takes her hand. 

""Momo"? It's really cute!" She says cheerfully when Sakura tilts her head to look at her. "You can call me Momo whenever you'd like, Sakura-chan!" 

Slowly, as if unused to the motions, Sakura's lips curl into a tentative smile. Behind Fujitaka, Sonomi inhales as if she'd been struck. 

Tomoyo startles, but only for a moment. 

"That's right! I was never able to introduce you to my mother!" She realizes. She turns to face her. 

"Sakura-chan, that is my mother, Daidouji Sonomi. Mother, this is my best friend in the world- Kinomoto Sakura-chan!" 

Sonomi sniffles. 

"Of course..." she says, her voice simultaneously soft and heav and distant. "I should've realized...Nadeshiko always said that when she had a daughter, she'd name her Sakura...and she looks so much like her..." she shakes her head. "But it's been so long..." 

She joins her daughter and kneels at Sakura's bedside, a mournful smile marring her perfect face. 

"Hello, Sakura-san. I'm Sonomi. You don't remember it, but I used to watch you when you were very little. Tomoyo tells me very much about you, and I was very close with your mother..." 

Fujitaka exits the room, leaving Sonomi and Tomoyo and Touya to visit with Sakura. He slumps against the wall beside the closed door and heaves a sigh. 

He tells himself that it's okay. It's fine that his only daughter can't call to him by name again for the time being (if ever). It's fine that her arms are atrophied and her legs are useless. It's fine that she'll never be able to run and jump and play like she'd always loved doing. 

It's fine. 

It doesn't make him cry at all. 

Really. 

He takes in a shuddering breath, feels a sting behind his eyes the likes of which he hadn't felt since before Nadeshiko died. 

Warmth travels down his cheeks. 

"Nadeshiko...I'm so sorry...but it looks like...I've broken my promise to you..." 


End file.
